I promise you! You’ll end up with tears on your eyes…. because of laughter.. :)

It may not totally take away all the pain, but at least for a moment, you forgot about them :) Right?

To be happy is always a choice. You can cry non-stop, sit at the corner of the room, set the volume of the stereo to full blast, drown yourself with sad songs, drink away the pain, or whatever it is, but in the end, it will still boil down to your choice of being happy or staying miserable. But just like everything else, it’s a step-by-step process. 

So for now, I’ll watch epic fail videos on Youtube! At least they make me happy even for a while. :) 

Not the physical pain but the emotional pain. For once, I just want this to stop and revert back to the happy person that I used to be. 

Have you ever had this moment when you keep repeating the last scene you and him talked. Trying to find out what happened, looking out for clues on what might have went wrong, asking yourself what you have done that changed everything? You have ransacked every bit of the puzzle, but you still can’t figure out WHY? WHAT? and HOW? did this happen. FRUSTRATING. CONFUSING. DEPRESSING. 

If I fall on the ground and get cuts and bruises, those cuts and bruises would surely hurt but in a span of days and band-aids, it will heal up. If my professors in law school ask us to read several chapters for a recitation the next day, it will surely give me a headache and sleepless nights, but after the semester, I can recover all the lost sleep and energy. Physical and mental pain is nothing to be compared to emotional pain. To get hurt so bad and pretend that it doesn’t hurt at all is the worst feeling that a person could feel at that moment. The eyes start to get watery as the tears want to fall down, but you still fake a smile to tell the whole world that I AM OKAY! I AM HAPPY! I AM GREAT! People have no idea that deep inside, you are being stabbed to death. You have friends willing to listen but sometimes, you’d rather keep things to yourself. Not because you wanted it, but because it is what’s best to do. Besides, it will always be the same old lines like “It will be better tomorrow….” or “Forget and move on…” I myself had said that to my friends, so I anticipate them already. Easier said than done! Yes, it will be better tomorrow, but how many tomorrows will it take for it to be better? 1, 2, 10, 20, 30, 100? or How long will it take to forget and move on? a day? a week? a month? a year? a decade? For sure, it won’t be tomorrow, or the next day after. So, during those days while you try to move on and forget things, comes those times when a smile is forced on our lips, when the memories of the past haunts us at night. But what makes us go on with our lives despite all of these is the ray of sunshine and hope from the people who love us. Some people might have failed us, but there are still those who remained to be with us. We just have to wait until the heart recovers and heals up and that face shines with happiness - REAL HAPPINESS. 

I thought I have moved on with what had happened 5 or 6 months ago, but after what I saw this morning, I found myself filled with emotions I vowed to forget. There was pain, regret and anguish. But what can I do? It has happened and I can’t do anything about it. Life is unfair, but if I sulk in and let myself be eaten up by this negativity, will it do me any good? will it change the whole thing? will it bring him back to me? The answer is always NO. I have to move on and I am moving on, slowly but surely. And someday, if I meet him, I wanna stand tall and proud, and show and tell him that “I GOT BETTER, THANKS TO YOU!”  Someday….

Got extremely bored. I saw the picture on my facebook which “the ex” liked (I unfriended him already). Thought that I was completely over him. Viewed his profile. Didn’t see anything cause he’s not a contact anymore. BUT ONE DETAIL. He’s already MARRIED! O.O Fvck! I am completely happy with my life right now BUT I felt like I got poured down with a cold water. There’s this thing going in my heart, that starts to cringe. The brain denies but the heart insists. All my mouth could utter is, “IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME”! O.O

I shouldn’t have viewed that goddamn asshole’s profile! O.O 

Oh well, things happen. Just keep moving forward. :)